What has been put inside of me...

so i randomly signed up to work at this camp called camp wa-sta-hi (stands for water/stars/hills. It was so random i found it on facebook marketplace. It coincided with JesusCulture, but for some reason, I had a much stronger desire to go to this camp instead. I ended up applying, got an interview, which was totally God too, and then this past week i went to camp.

The people there are amazing, the counselors are fun, and fully involved with this camp madness. Singing songs, doing the skits...They seem like the most normal counselors, like people that I could really relate to.


We got back this afternoon, and i just got back from a "BBQ" with the counselors (about 10 total). They're all really young, from 18 to 27, so i was among the youngest. When i get there, they're all already drinking and just anything you'd expect to see at a college frat party. Their jokes are off the wall.. they're funny, just not the kind of humor i'd actually enjoy. Literally, i was the only one there that was straight up "i don't drink", it was cool, cause there wasn't really a stigma attached to it. I liked how they were completely ok, they had built relationship with me for a week prior, so the fact that i didn't live out the same lifestyle they did, didn't affect our relationship (this is foreign to the western church).

I spent almost a good 4 hours with a bunch of drunks playing booze games, taking shots of tequila and rum with their limes. I didn't really join in, because i think beer tastes like crap.... but it was interesting to watch them. While i was driving home, i recollected on the week. God's really been opening my eyes to see His heart for people. During the week at camp, He told me, "I can't wait to show them how good I Am". I knew that wouldn't happen unless i stewarded the heaven that He had given me. all throughout the week i watched opportunity pass me by and by. There were so many chances for me to invade the impossible, yet my feet stood. I ended up operating covertly, release the presence where i went, making lanyards as gifts of favor on their lives.

I operated covertly, and i can say it was good, but it wasn't best. As i was driving home, I felt His heart for His family. He longs soooo much for them. Even at the bbq, one of the guys does tarot card readings, and when he said, "who wants a tarot reading?" most of them would say me! me! My citizenship in heaven arose in me, and I started thinking, 'dude i could totally blast them away and throttle them towards their destinies with just a prophetic word. Those tarot cards got nothing.' These people are hungry for the supernatural, they want something genuine, they hate the religious, they don't want words, they want to know who they are. Only people who know they are, have the ability to show other people who they are. If you don't know who you are, you have no right to tell people who they are... because you have no understanding of your own identity, how can you point someone elses to theirs?

I've found my identity, the realm of possibility has exploded in me, what have i done to steward it?

In my car, I decided that today, I am no longer the same. I can no longer afford to not be myself. The "myself" that is in me is a monstrous man of God who is as bold as a lion, and walks in earthquaking power. That man hears the voice, that man has all the faith in the world, that man is alive, that man is a lover, that man knows his Father, that man knows Love, and that man receives and gives Love. That man can only be hindered by me. And that man has the power to use me, instead of me using that man. That man has the power of 'me-control' and can let 'myself' be 'myself' without 'me' stopping that man.

I have lost total confidence in 'me', and have moved all of that confidence in who He says I am. Because He is faithful, true. He is full of faith, and He is Truth. He is my Father, and I am His son. I am His, He is mine.

I can't afford to be 'me'. 'Me' can't give the world an encounter with Jesus. Only if I be myself will the light of Christ shine like a lighthouse, piercing miles... through the night clouds of the sea.

Jesus!